Use Me
by leshamarieinuyasha
Summary: Akihiko has been left once again with unrequited feelings. Two and a half years of lies, and he's forced to face the reality that Misaki never wanted to be with him. Heartbroken and lost will Usagi ever be able to let love in again? USAGIxOC
1. Pretensions Little Bastard

I really should be in bed right now…but I can't go to sleep knowing there is work to be done. Since it's only a few days before Christmas, I thought now would be the perfect time to work on my dedication fic for my Onii-san _penguin070594_. You hear me Nii-san this is for you!

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami, and Toru

**WARNING:** Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

* * *

Chapter One: Pretensions Little Bastard 

A quick flick of a lighter and the end of the cigarette glowed bright red at the tip. Sticking the health hazard into his mouth, the young novelist peered up at the rising cloud of smoke above his head. Around him were the countless volumes of the best-selling BL novels. He had based the characters off of himself and his lover, and built the content off dreams and fantasies. It was a perfect way to mask the inner horrors of a relationship gone totally wrong.

Flashback

"_It's over." The emerald orbed uke stated packing a trunk full of his things._

"_What the hell are you talking about?" The novelist demanded as he reached for his lover's hand._

"_I can't keep lying to myself anymore, Usagi." Misaki'barked glaring at the violet eyed seme._

"_I don't understand…what are you saying, Misaki?" Akihiko, affectionately called Usagi, stuttered dropping the boy's wrist._

"_I'm saying that I'm leaving you." He replied bluntly as he turned back to the folded clothing on the bedspread._

"_What the fuck has gotten into you, Misaki? Did I do something to piss you off?" Akihiko cried slamming his fist hard against the doorframe._

"_I've just come to realize that I need something, rather someone, else in my life." Misaki whispered closing up the large brown travel bag. "Someone who isn't a man."_

"_Because I'm a man!" fumed Akihiko as bitter tears formed in his eyes. "That's what this is about?" _

"_I tried to tell you before but…" explained Misaki trailing off._

"_But what?" hissed Akihiko cynically. "Did you feel sorry for me? Is that why you've stayed with me for so long?" _

"_I couldn't very well leave you alone could I?" asked Misaki walking out of the bedroom._

"_But you could lie to me for two and a half years!" shouted Akihiko following after him._

"_It was a mistake!" growled Misaki as he finally reached the room's exit._

"_If you walk out that door, I never want to see your fucking face again." swore Akihiko as his lover yanked open the wooden barrier._

"_Goodbye, Usagi." murmured the chestnut colored hair college student._

"_GOOD RIDDANCE!" boomed the silver haired bachelor as he stumbled into the kitchen towards the liquor cabinet._

_Pouring himself a shot…he drank himself to sleep that night…something he hadn't done…since the day of Takahiro's engagement._

End of Flashback

Picking up one of the novels cast aside on the floor, Akihiko flipped open to the first page. Reading only a line of its contents, he slammed it shut in a rage before chucking it against the wall. Rising up from his seat on the couch, the thirty year old staggered aimlessly into the kitchen pulling out a shot glass from the cupboard bellow the sink. Filling the little cylinder to the brim with sake, he downed a shot quickly before repeating the numbing act five or six more times. Light-headed, he manages to make it back into the living room before collapsing on the floor face first in a pile of the endless novels. So much for sobriety…

*~*~*~*~*

"Adachi-kun, over here!" A girl with bright red hair and mocha colored eyes called into a sea of people.

"Izanami-chan, is that you?" squinted a tall college student with light brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Yeah, come and eat lunch with Kimura-san and I." smiled the redhead as she motioned the freshman towards their table.

"Kay!" called the brunette as he transported himself and his tray over to where his friends were sitting.

"Pen-kun, you need to eat more." scolded a muscular male with jet black hair and piercing green eyes.

"I eat all the time!" exclaimed the toned freshman plopping a piece of meat into his mouth. "Just because I'm not a muscle head like you, Toru, doesn't mean I don't eat."

"Alls I'm saying is I like men with a little meat on their bones." grinned the emerald orbed cutie as he pinched Pen's behind.

"Kimura-san!" wailed the redhead pulling on Pen's arm. "Leave Adachi-kun alone."

"Izanami-chan, you're hurting me." Pen replied cringing slightly.

"Sumimasen." exclaimed Izanami blushing light pink as she released his arm. "Are you alright?"

"Told ya you need to eat more." chuckled Toru as he ruffled Pen's hair.

"Shut it." Pen glared turning back to Izanami. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Izanami questioned eyes filling to the brim with tears of guilt.

"Yeah, positive." smiled the brunette showing her no evidence of bruising on his arm. "I'm a tough guy I can handle anything."

"Anything?" Toru pursued a glint of cockiness appearing in his eye.

"Anything." Pen smirked giving off his trademark grin.

"Then come to the fraternity party this Saturday." offered Toru as he got up to clear his tray. "Unless you're chicken."

"No way I'm chicken!" cried Pen following after Toru who was followed by Izanami.

"Great." Toru whispered biting Pen's ear playfully. "It'll be fun having a new toy to play with."

Watching Toru walk off, Pen and Izanami just starred at each other wondering if all juniors were as cocky as Kimura-san.

* * *

Ooo fraternity party…what trouble will be cooking up at Mitsuhashi University? And how is Usagi tied into all of this? All will be revealed in chapter two. Please review!!


	2. Barely Legal

Okay guys it's time for another update! Let's keep the reviews coming you guys ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own JR

Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami Kurosaki, and Toru Kimura

**WARNING**: Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

* * *

Chapter Two: Barely Legal

"Are you sure you want to go through with this Adachi-kun?" Izanami questioned clutching the brunette's arm tightly.

"I don't think I could turn back even if I wanted to." sighed Pen looking to the large housing area with booming music and flashing lights.

"Pen-kun, Kurosaki-san is that you?" A voice called out into the darkness.

"Toru-kun, is that you?" questioned Pen as he shone a mini flashlight up into the brunette's face.

"I can't see." Toru whined batting at the incandescent beam of light.

"You're such a baby, Kimura-san." Izanami sighed rolling her mocha orbs.

"You're one to talk." Toru hissed as Pen removed the light from his eyes. "Did you have to bring _her_ along with you?"

"Hey!" Izanami pouted sticking out her lower-lip. "Adachi-kun invited me."

"Well, what if I uninvited you and took Pen all for myself." Toru grinned wrapping his long arm around Pen's shoulder.

"Nani!" Izanami cried mouth dropping open and eyes growing to measure up to that of baseballs.

"Cut that out." warned Pen as a blush of bright red spread across his features.

"Come now, Pen-kun." Toru prodded a sinister grin stretching across his lips. "You know you want me just as much as I want you."

"Hu?" Izanami gaped as she fell to the ground.

"Don't flatter yourself too much, Toru." Pen retorted stepping away from the upperclassman's hold.

"Pen…" Toru grumbled crossing his arms against his chest.

"Stop teasing Izanami-chan." Pen insisted as he stared down at the fallen red-head.

"But I'm having fun." Toru griped sighing loudly.

"Izanami-chan, get up off the ground. You're getting your dress all dirty." Pen said offering the young college student his hand.

"What luck." Izanami whimpered dusting off her purple mini dress.

"Hey, I wasn't the one who told you to sit on the ground." Toru teased as she shot him a glare.

"But you're the one who provoked me!" snapped Izanami as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Why? Because you don't like it when I touch him." laughed Toru as he pulled Pen close to his chest and twisted his nipples seductively.

"Ahh." Pen moaned sharply as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"Cut it out!" Izanami shouted stomping her foot on the concrete. "Leave Adachi-kun alone!"

"Come on, Izanami." Toru breathed lightly hovering just above Pen's cartilage. "You have to admit that this is pretty hot."

"Lemme…go…Toru." Pen groaned as his back had begun to arch.

"Not you now too." Toru smiled kissing the boy's cheek. "I was just starting to enjoy myself."

"Please…" Pen replied grunting as Toru's hands massaged the front of his black denim jeans.

"Please as in keep going…or please as in never stop?" Toru grinned victoriously as Izanami's eyes welled up with tears.

"Oh." Pen gasped as the pressure in his nether region increased.

"Kimura-kun!" A voice suddenly called out from the where the lights were flashing and the music was booming.

"Raito-kun, is that you?" Toru called still holding tightly to the front of the freshman's bulging front.

"Yeah it's me you idiot. What the hell are you doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be inside enjoying the party?" Raito questioned from the door way of the fraternity house.

"Yeah I was just greeting some company I invited. We'll be in in just a minute." Toru replied biting the base of the brunette's neck before letting him go.

"Whatever." Raito sighed turning his back on the group of shadowed students. "Just make it snappy if you want us to save you a jello shot."

"Adachi-kun, are you alright?" asked Izanami as she rushed to Pen's side.

"I'm alright." Pen replied rubbing his neck where Toru's teeth has sunken in.

"But you're bleeding." Izanami whispered watching as a small droplet of blood trailed down his neck until it reached his collarbone.

"I'll be fine." Pen responded getting up from his spot on the ground bellow. "I just need a drink is all."

"Then allow me to escort you inside." Toru chuckled linking arms with the hackled brunette.

"Joy." Pen hissed under his breath before pulling Izanami along with them.

Upon walking inside the large fraternity building the trio was greeted by a crowd of drunken adolescents who were attempting to dance to the wild beat roaring from the speakers. Pulling Pen through the crowd, the ebony haired Junior pushed the couple onto one of the vacant couches and flashed a smirk in their direction. Then within seconds Toru has disappeared into the sea of bodies leaving the two to fend for themselves against the swaggering pack. Looking to Pen nervously, Izanami blushed bright fuchsia as the hazel eyes connected with her own. Placing his hand on top of hers, Pen sighed softly; _It must have been hard for Izanami-chan having to put up with Toru touching me like that. The nerve of that guy! He's constantly pissing me off…_

"Adachi-kun, are you positive that you're alright?" Izanami questioned her tone attempting to be serious.

"Like I told you before, all I need is a drink and I'll be fine." Pen replied slumping back into the plush of the three-seated couch.

"Do you honestly think a drink will make you forget the way he violated you like that?" Izanami murmured the frown lines around her mouth increasing.

"Look, I know that it must have been hard for you having to watch that, but let me deal with this in my own way." Pen growled under baited breath. "If I think a couple shots are going to help clear my mind then let it be so."

"But…" Izanami stuttered before she was quickly cut off.

"Just drop it." sighed Pen looking down at his feet. "This isn't your problem."

Swallowing back the urge to cry, Izanami sat on the couch in silence. Turning her back away from Pen, a trickle of tears escaped her eyes as she frantically wiped them away. It wasn't her problem…so why should she be crying? Coming out of the swarm once more, Toru appeared with three Dixie cups in his hands. Handing one to Pen, one to Izanami, and keeping the last one for himself, the ebony haired jock lifted his cup for a toast. Clinking the paper together, the three downed their jello quickly chewing up the multi-colored gelatin. Within minutes the trio begins to feel the effects of fruit-flavored snack, their heads becoming light like the air itself. Standing up from his seat, Pen looked to his friends before pointing to the buffet where the Dixie cups resided.

"I'm going to go grab a couple more shots. Want me to bring you back some?" Pen questioned his step swaggering a bit.

"Bring us back two or three." Toru shouted from his seat on the couch.

"What about you, Izanami-chan?" Pen asked looking to the blushing redhead.

"I'm good." Izanami nodded covering her mouth as she quietly hiccupped.

"Come on, Kurosaki-san." Toru prodded nudging her side lightly.

"I'm fine." Izanami growled folding her arms across her chest defiantly.

"Suit yourself." Toru shrugged turning back to Pen. "More for us."

Walking away from the couch, Pen managed to push through the crowed fraternity house and make it to the buffet table. There lined up in neat little rows were the assorted flavors of spiked jello shots. Reaching for two purple and three blue, the brunette froze when he felt a set of eyes watching him. Placing his findings down for a brief moment, he turned to see a girl with shoulder length hair and deep dark eyes staring at him. Cocking her head slightly, he noticed that in her hands she held what looked to be a BL novel. Shaking his head to rid himself of the dark inquisitive stare, Pen turned away to go back to the shots. Finding only three of the little Dixie cups were left, he quickly snatched up what his hands could carry and retreated back to the sofa.

"I got what I could." panted Pen as he tossed Toru four of the eight jello cups. "They're running out up there."

"You're sweating." Izanami pointed out as Pen took a seat beside Toru.

"He had to fight off a crowd of drunks!" Exclaimed Toru. "Of course he'd be sweating."

"Cheers!" Pen grinned poring the liquid gelatin down into his esophagus.

"I'll drink to that." Toru smiled following in suit.

Finishing off the final bit of their last shot, cheeks tinted light pink and their heads spinning_, _the two men looked at one another with elated expressions. Wobbling slightly Pen somehow managed to get to his feet and remain in the standing position. Looking over across the length of the room, the drunken teen spotted a familiar face in the corner. Pressed up against the wall wearing a slinky red dress was his ex Mitchi Matsuda. The two had dated right up until their senior year before they had entered college. Mitichi had left Pen for an older man who was studying to be a doctrine of medicine. Unlike Pen who was mainly there to major in literature. Taking out his phone, the young brunette slipped into one of the empty dorms in the fraternity house. Alone and in the silence of the empty room, Pen's camera phone let off a white flash. Pulling the mobile out of his pants, he examined his genitalia and gave a nod of approval before sending it to what he thought to be Ms. Matsuda's inbox. Shoving the phone back into his pocket, Pen snickered quietly before turning to face an unexpected sight.

"I thought that this is where you had gotten off you, Pen-kun." a seductive voice said as emerald orbs winked fondly at him.

There standing in the way of the door was Toru. Wearing only a pair of dark blue jeans and a choker necklace the ebony haired seme placed himself in front of a wide-eyed Pen. Long arms wrapping around his waist, Pen had soon found himself lying on his back against the rugged carpeting. Starting from the collarbone down, Toru began tracing a long line reaching down to the adolescent's navel; just above where his belt was hitched. Kissing his jaw softly, Toru slowly lifted Pen's shirt above his head before removing his mouth from the soft skin of his throat to his erect nipple. Sucking and biting with sheer intensity, the brunette uke let out a moan as his member began to become erect. Grinding their hips together, Toru didn't hesitate to start working at the buttons that held their cocks inside. Pants long since cast aside, the darker haired man shoved his member deep inside his uke's opening; Pen letting out a grunt of pain and then a sheik of intensified pleasure. Grinding, pumping, and later coming the two collapsed flat out onto the floor; their breathing in ragged spurts.

Standing just outside the door, Izanami was silent. She could hear their moans, their gasping, their pleading and feel the intense pleasure radiating off of their skin. Blinking away a bout of tears she listened quietly as their breath came at a ragged pace and then faded into shallowness. The thought had run through her mind a few times before now…maybe Pen just wasn't into women or quiet possibly he just wasn't into her. Clenching her fists tightly she walked away from the wooden barrier. Toru could never be forgiven for what he had done.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hu? Who would be messaging me at this hour?" Akihiko wondered as he reached for his phone on the bedside table. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

* * *

Oh man not good. What could Akihiko have possibly found on his phone?

Review and you just might find out.


	3. Genitalia Without Name

Guess who's back?! Yeah, you have to deal with me and some more smut. But I'm sure that's not a problem considering you're all reading an M rated fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own JR

Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami Kurosaki, and Toru Kimura

**WARNING**: Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

* * *

Chapter Three: Genitalia Without Name 

Morning's light was creeping through the slightly cracked blinds. The sun sneaking in through the tiny slits exposed a heaped up mess in the middle of the floor. Lying there in the buff stretched out across the length of the rug on at the foot of the full-sized bed was Pen. Dried cum still sticking to the extremis of his body and sweat sparkling in the early light of the day, the freshman's eyes flickered open. Room spinning like a carousel at a fun park, he some how managed to fixate his vision on the form lying beside. There sleeping in his birthday suit, his legs slightly curled around him, was Toru. Suddenly flashes of the night before began to enter the brunette's mind. The music, the dancing, and the booze. Just how many shots had he consumed? He couldn't remember it was just a blur now. Looking down at Toru he was hit with another wave of remembrance. The lug sleeping on the carpet was the same one who had been filling him up with booze. The same one who…

"NO!" Pen shouted scrambling backwards as Toru grunted loudly.

"Shut…up." Toru grumbled as he flipped over onto his side.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!" Pen cried hazel eyes seemingly catching fire.

"Nothing that you didn't want to happen." Toru yawned as he pulled a blanket off the bed and onto the floor. "Pipe down now and go back to sleep."

"KETSUNONAN!" shouted Pen as chucked his pillow. "BAKA YARO!"

"Come come is there really need for such language?" Toru replied with a small smirk. "You're usually such a sweet boy."

"SHUT UP!" Pen fumed stalking into the dorm's bathroom.

"Where are you going, sweetie?" Toru called after the brunette as he slammed the door shut.

Pulling back the glass door to the walk-in shower, Pen cranked the water to scorching. Beads of moisture spilling out from the sectioned nozzle, hot steam had soon begun to fog the mirrors with fresh steam. Letting the moist air fill his lungs, Pen stepped into the Plexiglas box. Shutting the sliding doors behind him, he let the water beat down on reddening skin. Basking in the warmth of the blistering liquid, more thoughts of the night before plagued his mind. Shaking his head violently he reached for the bottle of shampoo hanging off one of the racks. A good wash and he could rid himself of the incident for good. Squeezing the gel like liquid into the palm of his hand Pen began furiously scrubbing his hair. Lathering it up into a soapy mass, he dipped his head backwards into the water rinsing it slowly. Finished with his hair, the next thing he reached for was a blue bottle of Ax Body Wash. Just as his finger tips reached the smooth container, he felt soft breath at the base of his neck.

"Need some help with that?" Toru breathed his erection pushing into the back of the brunette's leg.

"T-toru." Pen gasped as he felt a set of medium sized hands tracing their way down from his collarbone to his navel.

"You look at little lost." whispered Toru seductively as he lightly grazed his classmate's shaft with his forefinger.

"D-don't…" Pen whimpered biting his lower lip.

"You mean do." Toru corrected outlining the head of his dick only this time with two appendages instead of one.

"Ngh…" he moaned sharply as the ebony locked cretin began pumping him slow at first but gaining quickly.

"Feel good?" Toru murmured nibbling Pen's cartilage as his uke gasped with pleasure.

"Ahh." the brunette cried as hot cum drizzled out of the head and onto the shower floor.

"Stay still." Toru ordered coming around to his pawn's front. "Don't waist it."

"W-what are you…" Pen stuttered just before feeling the thick hot contents of his nether region spilling into the emerald eyed seme's mouth. "Ahhhhhh!"

Dropping to his knees, Toru began suckling on his shaft like a youngling would a woman's breast; all the while massaging Pen's sac. Biting his tongue hard, the freshman tried hard to suppress a moan. His attempt proving to be a failure when a strangled plea escaped his throat. Looking up into hazel colored eyes, Toru slowly slid the girth out of his mouth; his tongue kneading the ridges on the way out. Hot cum dripping from the corner's of the his mouth, Toru quickly darts his tongue across his lips before bending Pen over backwards. Sticking his forefinger's inside his opening, the elder of the two pulled out two salivated fingers. Moistening his cock with the slippery product, he touched Pen ever so lightly so that he arched his back. Holding onto his hips, Toru gave a quick shove and forced himself inside the younger boy's quivering form. Pumping slowly at first and then gaining speed it wasn't long before they were both panting and screaming one another's names in ecstasy as they came.

Dropping to the floor, breath ragged and voice horse, the two stayed still for only but a moment. Reaching for a large shampoo bottle knocked to the floor, Pen raised the container just above his head. Toru's eyes growing wide, the brunette delivered a crushing blow to the side of the seme's head. Turning off the water, Pen reached for a folded towel on the toilet seat and wrapped it around his waist. Throwing the bathroom door open, he glared back at the heaped up Toru who was lying at the bottom on the shower.

"KASU O TABERU NA!" Pen hissed before slamming the door behind him as he exited the room.

Walking into the dorms living area, Pen looked to the floor where his clothes had been discarded the night before. A look of disgust appearing on his features, he ignored the balled up T-shirt and jeans. Walking over to dresser where he assumed the occupant of the dorm kept his clothing, he pulled open the bottom drawer. There folded neatly into sections were jeans, shirts, and undergarments. Pulling out a dark blue pair of blue jeans, a green t-shirt, and a pair of boxers he slipped on the attire before drying off his hair. Glancing at the clock by bed, the time read nine-eighteen. Face paling to an off-white the thought occurred that he was late. Rushing to put his shoes on, he caught a glimpse of Toru wobbling out of the bathroom. Pointing to the off balance junior he yelled out:

"I'm late! We'll finish this later!"

"The convorsation or the se-." he wasn't able to finish his sentence for he was cut off by the slamming of the door.

Hurrying outside into the student parking lot he caught site of a little pink convertible. Flagging it down, Pen stopped by the passenger door panting. Pulling the door open, he climbed inside and greeted a rigid looking Izanami. Buckling up, she pulled out of the parking lot and hit the main road. The school was about two miles away from the fraternity housing.

"Rough night?" Izanami asked a bitter tone in her voice.

"Yeah." Pen sighed running his hand through his hair. "Too many jello shots."

"You disappeared last night." Izanami murmured staring blankly out at the road ahead.

"Oh, I spent the night in Raito's dorm with Toru." he replied shrugging. "No, big deal."

"You could have told me you know." she responded sounding a bit harsher than she had intended.

"Could of told you what?" asked Pen as he cocked an eyebrow rather confused.

"That you didn't want me to come with you to the party!" snapped Izanami as her mocha eyes pierced right through him.

"I wanted you there." Pen cried scowling slightly. "Where is this all coming from?"

"You got drunk and ditched me last night! That's where all of this is coming from!" shouted Izanami as moisture began leaking from her rounded orbs. "I'm pissed off!"

"I had too much to drink is all." Pen tried to explain before he was cut off.

"THEN WHY WERE YOU HAVING SEX WITH TORU?!" Izanami screamed as a cascade of tears plunged down her cheeks.

"You know about that?" Pen gulped as Izanami turned away from him.

"HOW COULD I NOT KNOW?!" she bellowed slamming her fist against the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry…" Pen whispered starring down at his hands.

"You don't even like the guy." Izanami sniveled as another rack of sobs hit her hard.

"I'm sorry…" Pen replied again; _is that the best I can come up with?_

"I just don't understand it." Izanami whimpered wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

"We were drunk." Pen answered his voice barely auditable. "It wouldn't have happened had we been sober."

"Then promise me something." Izanami whispered looking to his with a grim expression. "A promise between best friends."

"Anything." Pen rejoined his lips far from a smile.

"Don't drink anymore." she sighed parking the convertible in front of the school.

Stepping out of the vehicle, Pen takes one last look at Izanami before dashing inside. Sprinting through the Literature Hall, he came to a stop just outside the demon teacher's class room. Ironically numbered Room 666, he squeaked open the door just a crack. Hearing the slam of a text book colliding with the wood, Pen sweat dropped as the rest of the barrier flew open. There standing before him, steam seemingly pouring out his ears, was none other than the demon Kamijou Sensei. Glowering at his student, the professor pointed to the only seat available; that seat being next to Danielle Auttumns the creepy four-eyed gothic chick who always had her nose in a book. Muttering under his breath, Pen took his seat beside Auttumns-san.

"Hey, didn't I see you at the party last night?" Pen questioned vaguely remembering the person sitting beside him.

"Was I holding a BL novel?" Danielle retorted glancing up from the book she was hiding under the desk.

"Now that I think of it yeah." Pen replied as she nodded her head slowly.

"It was probably me then." Danielle sighed returning to her book. "I hate it when my brother drags me to those stupid things."

"Brother?" Pen asked cocking his eyebrow.

"Kimura Toru." Danielle answered turning a page.

"TORU-KUN!" Pen shouted just as a blue text book collided with his head.

"SHUT UP!" Kamijou Sensei shouted eyes glowing a bright red color.

"Sumimasen, Sensei." Pen grumbled rubbing the spot where the book at knocked him one.

"We'd better be quiet." Danielle whispered shutting her mouth.

"I can't believe it." Pen muttered before he felt a slight vibration in his pocket; _Damn it Toru! What now?_

Flipping open his mobile the first line read:

_U: What the fuck is this?! _

Opening the attachment he saw an oddly familiar looking cock. Squinting at the picture shock suddenly hit him upside the head. THAT WAS HIS PENIS! Fumbling to hit all the right buttons, he sent out a response while trying to prevent himself from having a heart attack.

_P: I'm so sorry Mitchi_

_U: Who the hell is Mitchi, this is Usagi-san_

_P: Usagi-san?_

_U: Misaki, is that U? WTF RU trying to pull here?!_

_P: Misaki? I don't even know who UR talking about_

_U: Wait, this isn't Misaki?_

_P: No, this is Adachi-san_

_U: Adachi-san?_

_P: Yeah _

_U: If you're not Misaki then why the hell RU sending me things like this *sends Pen a sext*_

_P: *opens attachment and stammers* _

_U: Well…_

_P: I was drunk at a party _

_U: So you deiced that you'd play a prank and send some dirty porno to a man who could probably be your father _

_P: No! You have it all wrong! _

_U: Then what was that photo about?!_

_P: I must have gotten the wrong number _

_U: How old RU anyways?_

_P: 18 why?_

_U: I guess you're old enough to be doing things like that but still_

_P: It's not like it was intentional _

_U: Well, what RU going to do about this mess_

_P: Let me guess a sorry isn't going to cut it _

_U: Not by a long shot _

_P: I get out from my classes in an hour, Do U like coffee?_

_U: Do you like getting laid?_

_P: =_=' I take that as a yes then_

_U: I should hope so _

_P: Meet me at the Café Buenos in an hour _

_U: I have your number _

_P: =_=' I know _

"Adachi-san!" Kamijou Sensei hissed stalking up the isle to where he was sitting.

"Sensei?" Pen gulped eyes growing huge.

"NO TEXTING DURING CLASS!" he wailed ripping the mobile out of the adolescents' hand.

"That's my phone!" Pen cried as the demon chucked it against the wall.

"Now it's shit!" Kamijou Sensei glowered stomping back to his desk.

"Ah fuck me hard." Pen shouted slamming his head against the table.

"GLADLY!" Toru called up from an open window.

"OKAMA!" Pen screamed as everyone looked away.

**~An Hour Later**

Sure enough, there waiting outside the Café Buenos was Akihiko. Silver hair lightly tussled by the wind and violet eyes hard as nails, Pen swallowed hard as he stepped out of Izanami's convertible. She had reluctantly driven him there so that they could make pardons for their previous argument. Walking up to Usagi-san, Pen extended his hand. Dismissing it crudely and shoving his hand into his pocket, he pulled out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. Shoving one of the wrapped sticks into his mouth, Akihiko pointed to the table he'd been sitting at for the past half hour. Following the older man to his area of choice, Pen took a seat across from the mysterious looking stranger. He appeared to be so dignified, so strong, mature. Not forgetting to mention extremely good looking. _So how could the texts that I received come from a guy who looks like this!_

"You're a college student are you not?" Akihiko questioned taking a sip of his freshly poured coffee.

"That's right." Pen stuttered just taking in the sweet melodic sound of his voice.

"A freshman I presume." Akihiko asked setting down his mug. "Where are you attending?"

"Mitsuhashi University." Pen replied snagging a donut from a wheeled cart passing by.

"There?" Akihiko muttered his face expression growing slightly somber.

"Is there a problem with the college there?" Pen wondered tapping his chin. "The credentials checked out okay. I could be wrong though…"

"No, it's nothing." Akihiko sighed shoving back old memories. "What are you majoring in?

"Literature." Pen answered pigging down the rest of his.

"Interesting." Akihiko said with a smirk. "I happen to be a novelist myself."

"Now that you mention it, you do look oddly familiar." Pen supposed cocking his head slightly.

"Really?" Akihiko inquired inwardly questioning the boy's sexuality.

"Yeah! You're Usami Akihiko aren't you!?" Pen cried fishing through his messenger bag.

"Have you actually ready any of my work before?" Akihiko speculated quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, I just started actually…" Pen blushed holding up the BL novel he had found inside Auttumns-san's desk.

Eyes growing wide, Akihiko recognized the BL is an instant. It was the final volume of his Misaki collection. The collection he had burned to cinders but a few nights before. Snatching the book, Akihiko flipped through the pages of novel taking in Misaki's name. Feeling the tears biting at his eyes, he quickly handed the book back to Pen who put hid it away from questioning eyes. Wiping at the tears, Akihiko starred back at Pen who was giving him a curious gaze.

"Is something the matter, Usagi-san?" Pen asked as Akihiko sniffled quietly.

"Allergies is all." Akihiko replied shaking his head.

"I know I've just met you and all, but I have a feeling that this goes a bit deeper than allergies." Pen whispered looking intensely at his shaken features.

"The boy on the cover **was **my lover." Akihiko murmured peering down at his hands. "He left me for an old publisher of mine. A **woman**."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Pen replied instinctively placing his hand on top of Akihikos'. "I know what that feels like."

"I guess we're not as different as I thought." Akihiko smiled lightly his amethyst orbs appearing to be a bit lighter.

"Well, maybe there's one difference…" Pen trailed off his cheeks turning bright red.

"What is it?" Akihiko asked cocking an eyebrow.

"I'm failing my Literature class." Pen cried meshing his face into the wooden table. "I'm so hopeless."

"Who's your teacher?" Akihiko inquired taking out a little notepad.

"Kamijou-Sensei why?" Pen replied lifting his head slightly.

"I see now." Akihiko nodded scribbling down something on the paper. "You're definitely going to need a tutor."

"Where the hell am I going to find a tutor?! I can't just pull one out my ass you know." Pen sighed rolling his hazel colored orbs.

"I, Usami Akihiko AKA the great Usagi-san, am going to tutor you in Literature." Akihiko grinned as Pen spotted a sinister glint in his eye.

"Are you fucking with me?" Pen growled standing up out of his seat.

"I fuck men, but I don't fuck with them. You have my word." Akihiko chuckled extending his hand to shake on it.

"Arigato, Usagi-san!" Pen cried clutching the novelist's hand.

"It's going to cost you though." Akihiko smirked winking at the unsuspecting freshman.

If he only knew what he was getting into

* * *

Wow that was a long ass chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks a ton and please review!!


	4. Gomennasai

**Back and ready for action. Nii-san has me running ragged with updates. He's sort of like my cup of coffee. LOVE YOU NII-SAN!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own JR**

**Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami Kurosaki, and Toru Kimura**

**WARNING**: Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

* * *

Chapter Four: Gomennasai 

Lying on his back, hazel eyes starring up at the ceiling, Pen waited for the dorm room's phone to ring. Usagi-san had promised to contact him as soon as his work was finished so that they could begin his tutoring. The two of them had decided that it would be best for them to get together at night, seeing as the freshman had day classes and the novelist had sleep to catch up on for the long evening of tutoring ahead. As much as he hated to admit it, Pen wasn't exactly ambitious about his school work. He was more of a social butterfly and a bit of space case than he was studious. It was these qualities that drove Kamijou Sensei to the end of his rope causing the text books on the shelf to go flying. Looking to the clock, the time read eight fifty-nine in big, red, bold numbers. Fishing into his pocket his fingers ran across a tiny folded up piece of paper. Pulling it out and smoothing it against his legs he read the neat manuscript written by his new sensei. Anxiousness building up in the pit of his gut, Pen nervously touched the telephone resting on his roommate's desk. Punching in the numbers faster than the speed of light, he quickly pressed the receiver to his ear. One…two…three rings and someone finally picked up.

"_Adachi-san, is that you?" a low masculine voice questioned from the other end of the line._

"_Gomennasai." Pen apologized blushing light pink. "I just needed to know that you were still around."_

"_I was wondering the same thing." Akihiko replied rubbing his chin. "Is your cell phone turned off?"_

"_Gomennasai, Sensei!" Pen cried suddenly remembering he'd forgotten to tell him about the incident in class with Kamijou Sensei. "I forgot to mention that my mobile's dead."_

"_Oi?" Akihiko exclaimed placing his hand on his hip. "What do you mean it's dead?"_

"_Kamijou Sensei crushed it in class yesterday because I was texting you." Pen moaned sinking to the carpeting. _

"_Well this won't do." Akihiko sighed shaking his head slightly. "I guess we'll have to get you a new one." _

"_Really?" Pen cried perking his head up. "You'd do that for me?"_

"_How else am I going to keep track of a paying customer?" Akihiko smirked as emo clouds began floating around the college student's head._

"_I sound like I'm someone's pet." Pen grumbled frowning with distaste. "So, when are you expecting me?" _

"_Is it nine yet?" Akihiko asked switching his cell to the other ear. "That's when I get off from work."_

"_Yeah, it is." Pen nodded glancing back at the clock._

"_How about now then?" Akihiko inquired shutting his comp book. "Do you have a ride?"_

"_I can always walk." Pen shrugged as he slipped on his shoes._

"_No, I'll pick you up." Akihiko insisted reaching for his keys on the kitchen table._

"_Are you positive you want to come and get me?" Pen said rather hesitantly. "I have two perfectly good legs you know."_

"_I don't feel comfortable leaving you to walk the streets so late at night." Akihiko replied locking the door behind him as he exited his apartment. "Are you in Fraternity Dorm A or B?" _

"_A." Pen confirmed just as the dorm door began to open._

"_I'll be out front waiting to pick you up." Akihiko smiled before hanging up the phone._

Less than a second later, Toru appeared in their dorm scowling. Looking to Pen with a heated expression he watched as the younger boy zipped up his jacket and prepared to leave the dorm. Reaching out to him, Toru tried to prevent his uke from leaving. Snapping his wrist away just in time Pen darted out the door and into the Fraternity Hall. Gripping the doorframe tightly Toru yelled out after the brunette who had his back turned.

"Where are you going?!" Toru yelled after his sprinting roommate.

"I'll be back later!" Pen shouted as he rounded the corner. "Don't wait up for me!"

"BAKA KUSO ATAMA!" Toru hollered slamming the door shut nearly breaking it off of it's hinges. "Yaro."

Banishing all thoughts of Toru from his mind, Pen stepped out into the chilly night air. There waiting for him as promised was Akihiko. He was in the driver's seat flipping through an old magazine and smoking a cigarette when Pen pulled up to the passenger door. Glancing up from his reading material, Akihiko patted the interior of the passenger seat beckoning the brunette to take as seat. Pulling open the door, he slid in beside Akihiko and buckled up, just as the older man hit the gas pedal. Driving fast down the main road it isn't long before the two arrive back at the complex. Following the silver haired man up a couple flights of stairs, the soon arrived at his room. Unlocking the door, Akihiko unveiled his pad to Pen whose jaw nearly collided with the floor.

"This…place…is…HUGE!" Pen exclaimed his eyes appearing to be the size of baseballs.

"I'd prefer the term spacious." Akihiko chuckled ushering his student inside.

"Aren't you lonely here on you own?" Pen questioned pausing only after realizing that probably wasn't the best question to ask. "I didn't mean to…what I meant-."

"It's alright." Akihiko smiled somberly. "This place holds a lot of memories for me. So even if I wanted to leave…I don't think I could."

"Gomennasai." Pen whispered looking down at his feet. "I had no right to come out and say something like that."

"Please don't dwell on my feelings, Adachi-san." Akihiko sighed pushing him farther into the complex. "Let's focus on your school work."

"Right." Pen nodded walking over to the kitchen table. "Is this were you want me?"

"No, we'll go to my study." Akihiko said shuffling around picking up papers and texts books lying in random places. "It'll be more…tranquil."

"Whatever floats your boat, Usagi-san." Pen shrugged throwing the small bag he had packed over his shoulder.

Entering the study, Pen noticed probably five-hundred books or more lined up against the wall of Akihiko's study. Dropping his bag to the floor, he gaped at the surroundings for a moment before a particular novel caught his eye. Treading over to the shelf, he read the binding of a yellow book entitled _When The Doughnut Hole Is Filled_. Flushing a bright fuchsia color he suddenly recalled having seen Auttumns-san with the same novel early in class that day. Daring to flip it open, he soon found him self sitting on the floor cross-legged reading the supposed sex novel. Then without warning, just as he was getting to a good part, the door cracked open making a loud squeaking sound. Shrieking loudly and slamming the book shut, Pen gasped as he saw Akihiko standing behind him with a puzzled look on his face. The silver haired novelist didn't know if now or later would have been a good time to ask the boy about his sexuality. Little did Akihiko know he was soon to find out.

"You're supposed to be studying." Akihiko sighed rolling his amethyst colored orbs.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Pen muttered turning a deep rouge color.

"I know my work is tempting, but please try and refrain yourself until you've completed your studies." Akihiko smirked lifting the novel out of his hands.

"Don't flatter yourself." Pen grumbled getting up and slumping into the office chair; his blush growing even darker. "It wasn't that good."

"I beg to differ." Akihiko teased tussling his brown locks fondly.

"Stop!" Pen groaned pushing the calloused hands away. "You're messing up the hair!"

"Gomen-." Akihiko stopped mid-sentence his whole body suddenly rigid.

"Usagi-san, is something wrong?" Pen questioned cocking a brow.

"I just need a drink is all…" Akihiko stuttered walking out into the kitchen.

"Usagi-san, wait!" Pen called after him getting up from his chair.

Racing out into the kitchen after Akihiko, Pen found the thirty year old with a bottle of Saki in his hands an a couple shot glasses. Downing the drinks as fast as he could muster, the brunette watched on helplessly. Tears streaming down his cheeks it wasn't long before Akihiko was a heaped up mess on the kitchen floor. Bending down eye-level with the drunken adult, Pen gently cupped Akihiko's cheek forcing violet and hazel to collide.

"What's gotten into you, Usagi-san?" Pen whimpered as tears overflowed the beautiful amethyst depths.

"You remind me…everything you do…reminds me." Akihiko sobbed his eyes swelling from the persistent crying.

"Gomennasai." Pen whispered gripping onto his shirt tightly. "Please forgive me. Gomennasai."

Tears drying ever so slowly and eyes starring with a burning intensity, Pen pulls Akihiko closer to his chest. Gazing into his eyes for a moment, the brunette plants his lips onto Akihiko's. Orbs growing wide with shock at first, the novelist found himself giving into the force meshing with his own lips. Starting with several pecks, Pen works his way into Akihiko's mouth by dancing his tongue across his velvet appendages. Making a slit like opening, the younger of the two manages to slip his tongue inside the wet entrance. Soft cradled caresses soon turn into a war as their tongues twist and beat against one another in the moist heated cavern.

Without warning, Akihiko suddenly took the reins and flipped Pen onto his back. Pushing the uke onto the kitchen floor, Pen pressed against his leg and began moving. Blood rushing to the tip of his penis he soon felt his erection growing inside his jeans. Akihiko looming over him, noticed the bulge and directly went for the zipper of his pants. Pulling his hard cock out of his pants, Akihiko kissed the tip of his shaft before opening his mouth and sucking the head inside. Massaging the apex with his lips at first, he pulled out and licked up and down the shaft until his victim's eyes rolled into the back of his head, before coming back up and deepthroating him. Screams of pleasure escaping from behind closed lips, Pen dared to look down at his giver. Head bobbing up and down slowly at first but then increasing in pace, the brunette attempted to delay the enormous orgasm that was tearing him apart from the inside. Sucking him for all he was worth, Pen came hard screaming out his newfound lover's name. His swelled head moist with saliva and flocculating cum. Licking the tip fondly, as if it were frosting on a cupcake, Akihiko grinned playful at his toy. Pulling Pen who was shuddering from the extreme pleasure of it all into his arms, Akihiko walked the two of them up the stairs until they reached the door on the right of the staircase. Kicking the door shut behind them, Akihiko placed Pen on the king-sized bed and spread his legs, before reaching for a bottle of lube hidden in the nightstand. Squirting a small pool of the clear substance into his hands, Akihiko began massaging Pen's dick. Rubbing in a circular motion at the head, and then working his way down to the base, the brunette found his self coming even before they had started fucking. Discarding his pants and the remainder of their clothing to the floor, Akihiko took the uke into his lap. Positioning his head at Pen's entrance, the novelist gave a good shove forcing Pen to take it all. A groan of discomfort and then a moan of pleasure, Pen soon adjusted to Akihiko's size. Rotating his hips in a circular motion as Akihiko steadied them both, Pen squeezed the hard cock inside, sending a wave of intense pleasure through both of their cores. Hot, sweaty, and unbelievably turned on the two fucked until their insides seemed to give way. Pulling out, hot cum dripping out and onto the small of Pen's back, the two collapse onto the mattress panting.

A cool breeze blowing in through the room from the cracked window, Pen opened his eyes and glanced over at the form sleeping beside him. Snoring lightly Akihiko still had his arm wrapped around Pen's waist. Noticing the hand gently draped across his waist, a light blush appeared on his cheekbones. Reaching out, hoping not to push his luck too far, he gently brushed a stray hair out of the sleeping seme's face. Amethyst eyes flickering open, Akihiko's gaze rested on Pen's embarrassed expression. Chuckling softly Akihiko propped himself up on his elbows and smiled affectionately at his pupil. Turning an even deeper shade of red, he quickly looked away as he forfeited up a morning kiss to the silver haired romantic. Sitting up straight and pulling his legs off the side of the bed, Akihiko looked to Pen ruffled his hair. Then moving to his feet, he picked the boy up bridal style and carried him out of the bedroom and down the hall into the bathroom. Sitting Pen on the toilet seat, Akihiko started up the water and then pulled him behind the curtain. Standing underneath the water, the two remained silent as the clear liquid beat against their skin. Pulling him into a tight embrace, Pen listening to the wild beating of his heart, Akihiko sighed softly. Maybe things would go right this time…

"Usagi-san?" Pen questioned lifting his head up to stare into the aficionado's eyes.

"What is it?" Akihiko whispered trailing off a bit.

"Can I tell you something?" Pen asked touching his cheek lightly.

"There's really no need to ask that." Akihiko murmured kissing the top of his head.

"I'm falling in love with you." Pen whispered Akihiko's heart coming to a violent stop.

"What…did you…just say?" Akihiko stammered paling as goosebumps crawled across his skin.

"I'm falling for you, Usagi-san." Pen repeated resting his head back on Akihiko's peck.

"Arigato." Akihiko cried softly as the both of them sank to the bottom of the shower. "Arigato, Pen-kun."

Dressed and ready for classes, Pen scrambled to pull all of his crap together and into the messenger bag he'd taken out with him last night. Pushing his feet into his sneakers, the brunette looked to Akihiko who was twirling his keyring around his finger. Taking the gesture as a free lift to school, Pen nodded his head as the two departed from the apartment complex. Hopping into Akihiko's little red sports car the two sped off to Mitsuhashi University. Parking just in front of the gates, the novelist twisted the keys out of the ignition. Pen who had been staring at his hands, lifted his head so that their eyes met in an intense gaze. _It's now or never. I have to know the truth_.

"Usagi-san, before I leave there's something I need to ask you." Pen said stumbling on his words.

"What is it, Pen-kun?" Akihiko questioned lifting an eyebrow curiously.

"Was last night just a game?" Pen whispered fidgeting with the zipper on his sweatshirt.

"Pen, look at me." Akihiko ordered touching his face lightly.

"Nani?" Pen asked his eyes filling up with tears.

"I still getting over Misaki, but let me tell you one thing…I would never hurt you." Akihiko ensured him planting a peck on his lower lip.

"You want me?" Pen whimpered as his Sensei pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Probably since the first time I laid eyes on you." Akihiko murmured resting his head on top of the mound of mocha hair.

"Will I see you after school?" Pen inquired breaking their embrace.

"I'll be right here waiting." Akihiko smiled as Pen exited the vehicle.

After being pelted by a load of text books during Literature Class, screamed at by Auttumns-san for "borrowing" her BL novel without asking, and having Izanami-chan explode because he smelt like he'd been drinking; Pen managed to escape onto the football field to eat his lunch. Without even seeing it coming, he felt two long arms wrapping around his neck, and a kiss being planted on his cheek. Blushing a crimson color Pen whipped around only to face a set of elated emerald green orbs. Sighing softly Pen took Toru by the wrist and led him back inside. Pulling the dark haired lecher into the shadowed locker room, Pen pushed Toru onto one of benches and cleared his throat. _I'm sorry, Toru_

"Pen-kun, I never thought I'd see the day when you'd make the first move." Toru chuckled as a lecherous grin graced his lips.

"That's not why we're in here." Pen sighed taking a seat across from him.

"Then what's this about?" Toru questioned suddenly becoming serious. "I thought you were making up for last night."

"Last night?" Pen blushed recalling what had gone on between him and Akihiko.

"You never came home." Toru scowled furrowing his brow. "I waited up all night."

"I told you not to do that." Pen huffed rolling his eyes.

"Maybe I was worried!" Toru growled clenching his fists. "No hello, kiss goodbye, no phone call! What was I supposed to do?"

"I didn't ask you to worry about me, Toru." Pen retorted looking away.

"Isn't that what a lover is supposed to do though?" Toru hissed slamming his fist against the bench. "Unlike some else I know who obviously doesn't give a shit!"

"What am I supposed to tell you?" Pen yelled standing up steam seemingly radiating off his skin. "You're too much of an idiot to get it through your thick skull!"

"What?! What's so idiotic?!" Toru cried following right up after him.

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!" Pen screamed as Toru suddenly grew silent.

"…" Toru didn't reply he stood there speechless.

"What I mean is…" Pen started before Toru interrupted him.

"I understand perfectly." Toru murmured as his eyes started to burn.

"What?" Pen inquired watching as Toru turned away from him.

"You don't have to explain." Toru replied as traitor tears slipped down his cheeks.

"What I meant to say was…" Pen tried again but was interrupted.

"ENOUGH!" Toru sobbed into the palm of his hands. "Just shut up alright?"

"Toru…I." Pen stammered as his friend skidded across the locker room floor.

"OOKIOSEWADA!" Toru sobbed before slamming the locker room door shut disappearing into the hall.

"Gomennasai…Toru." Pen sniveled before dropping to his knees. "Gomennasai."

* * *

*tear* wow I have mixed emotions about this chapter. I hope you all liked it. PLEASE REVIEW!!

Bellow are a some of the curse words used in this chapter and the last:

baka kuso atama: stupid shit head

yaro: bastard

ookiosewada: up yours

baka yaro: stupid bastard

kusu o taberu na: eat fucking shit

ketsunoana: asshole

barazoku: faggot


	5. Tearing at the Seams

Well isn't this just peachy? We're boiling down to the last chapter here people. I hope to see some more reviews seeing as this is the second to last piece of _Use Me_. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own JR

Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami Kurosaki, Danielle Auttumns, and Toru Kimura

**WARNING**: Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

_**Bold/Italics: **_Flashbacks

* * *

Chapter Five: Tearing at the Seams 

"WE'RE NOT LOVERS!"

Head pressed up against the white bowl, hands shaking as he gripped the ceramic rims, Toru excreted the bile building up in this throat into the toilet. Shoulders heaving as a thick cascade of tears made their way down his cheek, Toru felt the a set of warm hands gently rubbing his shoulders. A strangled sob escaping his throat, the brunette looked back at his little sister, who wore a look of concern on her normally composed features. Turning his face back to the bowl, another flow of vomit exited his mouth, before he found himself curling up on the shower mat by the bathtub. His entire world was crumbling…everything…had revolved around those emotions he had hid deep inside. And with rejection finally settling in…his slowly beating appendage was tearing at the seams.

_**The playground had always been a dark place, even with the sun brightly shinning over head, there were was always some dark shadow lurking around the corner. Sitting in the sandbox running his dump truck through the soft yellow sand, a kindergartner with dark mocha hair played blissfully. Watching from the swings, his legs pumping him high into the sky, was Toru. His little sister under a tree with a picture book and the laughter of the other kids filling his ears, it looked as if the day was going to be perfect. Suddenly out of nowhere, before he had even stopped to blink, Toru noticed the sandbox suddenly become crowded. Little shrieks crying out for help, the older boy felt compelled to take a look at the ruckus that was disturbing the younger. Pushing his way through the surrounding crowd, it wasn't long before he came across the source of the problem. Rubbing his eyes as tears cascaded down his flushed cheek bones, Toru watched as a fifth grader kicks sand into the little kindergartner's eyes. Anger boiling up inside him as he clenched his fists, the brunette sends a sharp punch flying into the gut of the upper classman. Doubling over in pain while holding his stomach, Toru pummeled the attacker to the ground; even though he was only a second grader he had always been strong for his age. Begging for mercy under the weight of the ape-shit adolescent, the bully shielded his face from flying fists of rage. Finally finished with this target after successfully administering a bloody nose, Toru rolled off the quaking form. Running as fast as he could off the playground, the smug second grader blew a raspberry before turning to the kid in the sandbox. Kneeling beside the sniffling youngster, Toru removed a Kleenex from his back pocket and started wiping off the dirt and tears.**_

"_**Are you okay, kid?" Toru questioned licking the tissue just like his mother had done to him when his face was all filthy.**_

"_**I'm okay now." The tiny voice squeaked out as the rag moves over the corner of his lip.**_

"_**I don't think that guy will bother you again." Toru smirked looking back to where the crowd was cowering. **_

"_**You're really strong." The younger boy giggled as a wide grin spread across his facial features.**_

"_**Never really noticed." Toru chuckled standing up.**_

"_**Hey, what's your name?" The kindergartner asked staring up at his savior.**_

"_**I'm Toru Kimura but you can just call me Toru-kun." Toru said introducing himself. "What's yours?"**_

"_**I'm Pen Adachi." Pen smiled pointing to himself. "Want to be friends?"**_

"_**Sure." Toru shrugged. "Why not?"**_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Opening his eyes and looking around, it wasn't long before Pen realized he was back at Usami-san's complex. After his run in with Toru on the football field and their talk in the locker room, he had found himself unable to finish the rest of the days classes; requesting that Usami-san pick him up. Rolling over onto his side, Pen starred over at the sleeping form beside him. He just looked so peaceful lying there untouched…strangely beautiful. Reaching his hand over to touch the rough stubble skin of the elder man's cheek, Pen felt a ting of pain rolling up his spine. Why couldn't he touch him? Why was he so hesitant?

_**Making their way through the halls of the towering five story high school, Pen looked through the swarming sea of students. His class was supposedly on the top floor of the school or at least that is what was written down on the schedule. Clinging onto his arm and looking around with wide eyes, Izanami pointed through the crowd noticing a familiar face leaning up against the brick wall. Pulling him through the mass of bodies, Izanami stopped in front the towering Junior. A slight smile pulling across his lips Pen gave a half-hearted wave to his old childhood friend. Toru, waving back at his middle school buddy, noticed the paper gripped tightly between his fingertips. Snatching it up, Toru peered down at the sheet making a mental note of the classes that were written down, before handing it back to the pouting freshman. **_

"_**Are we lost here ladies and gentlemen?" Toru questioned as a sinister grin pulled at the corners of his mouth.**_

"_**What'd you expect?! This place is enormous!" Pen exclaimed turning to a nodding Izanami.**_

"_**And you're the only person here that we recognize…unfortunately." Izanami mumbled as the upper classman grunted.**_

"_**What's that supposed to mean?" Toru retaliated moving his face an inch from hers.**_

"_**Nothing." Pen sighed covering the red head's mouth with an open palm. "Toru, can you help us out here?" **_

"_**Well, I don't know…" Toru trailed off rubbing his fingers lightly against his stubble.**_

"_**Please." Pen whimpered his hazel colored eyes seemingly glistening. "I'll do anything!"**_

"_**Anything?" Toru smirked leaning in.**_

"_**What I mean is…" Pen stammered a large blush consuming his cheekbones.**_

"_**Oh I'll help you." Toru nodded taking Pen's hand into his own. "You just have to promise to meet me here at this time." **_

"_**Wait a second!" Pen cried trying to pull his hand away as Toru scribbled the directions down in ink.**_

"_**You're not backing out of this one." Toru winked giving Pen's hand a peck before pocketing the ballpoint.**_

"_**I really hate you." Pen glared as Toru linked arms with him.**_

"_**Yeah…I know." Toru smiled pulling him along to his class.**_

"_**Hey! Wait for me bakas!" Izanami cried trying to catch up.**_

Touching his lips softly, he realized there was no way in hell that he'd ever be able to forget that day. That day was the first time he'd ever given anyone head. A light blush consuming his features, he could recall the feel of Toru's stubble kissing down the back of his neck and the taste of warm, salty cum coating his lips. Trying not to wretch, Pen pulled himself out of bed and walked over to the bathroom mirror. Looking into the shameless glass he frowned at his tussled reflection. Smoothing his hair back down against his head, he peaked back out into Usami-san's bedroom only to see the man he'd fall for stir slightly. Pulling back the shower curtain, hot beads of moisture beaming out of the showerhead, Pen steps inside letting the boiling water consume his form.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"_**Rough day at school?" Danielle questioned shoving a spoonful of fruity pebbles into her mouth.**_

"_**Same shit as usual." Toru replied sighing as he walked over to the fridge.**_

"_**It's pointless you know…holding onto those feelings." Danielle responded looking up from her latest BL novel.**_

"_**You don't know anything." Toru sneered slamming the refrigerator door shut.**_

"_**I know that you're wasting your time thinking you can convert him into something he's not." Danielle sighed resting her chin on her propped fist.**_

"_**I will make him want me." Toru retorted reaching into the way back of the cupboard pulling out a box of instant noodles.**_

"_**Making somebody want you and having somebody want you are two completely different things." Danielle stated going back to the pages of her book.**_

"_**Just be quiet." Toru rumbled turning his back on her to stir the noodles he'd poured into pot.**_

"_**Gomen…" Danielle murmured glancing back up at him once. "Onii-san." **_

Cold sweat drenching his form Toru bolted up right in bed. Dried tears and snot encrusted on his face, the young adult rolled out of bed stumbling to the bathroom. Filling the sink up with ice cold water, he dunked his face into the cool moisture, springing up from the basin's depths taking in a shape inhale of precious oxygen. Breathing in ragged breathes he reached for a towel patting his face dry. Then glancing towards the kitchen table, he noticed his sister's hooded sweatshirt missing from the chair where it had once been hanging off. Treading lightly to the rounded piece of furniture, Toru spotted a note written in a neat cursive manuscript. Taking the note into his hands, he reads:

Toru,

I hope you don't mind, but I'm steeping out for a bit. I have some things I need to go pick up at a friend's house, but I'll be back in a little while. Oh, someone called for you earlier but you were sleeping. I told them they could stop over in an hour, so don't be shocked if you hear a knock on your dorm door.

Danielle

Walking back into his bedroom, Toru sat on the edge of the bed holding the note in his hands. Crinkling the note up into a little wad, he aims for the waste basket in the corner of the bedroom. Rolling around the rim but then finally falling into the metal cylinder, Toru falls back onto his bed like the little ball of paper. Reaching for his Ipod lying on the nightstand, he pops the tiny buds into his ears, and drowns himself in the soothing sounds of _Three Days Grace_. Humming along with _Break, _belting out the end of the chorus, through the highest volume he managed to hear the faint sound of the door bell ringing. Rolling out of bed, one earpiece dangling in the center of his chest, Toru dragged himself to the door. Opening the wooden barrier, his eyes growing large, he finds Pen standing there wracked in sobs.

"Toru…please…I scared." Pen whimpered before falling to his knees at the brunette's feet.

_Break _

_Away from everybody_

_Break_

_Away from everything _

_If you can't stand _

_The way this place is _

_Take yourself _

_To higher places_

_

* * *

_Sorry guys no sex in this chapter. Yes, I'm making you hold out for the last chapter XD Well I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!


	6. How The Game Is Played

So, I'm proud to finally say that the last chapter of _Use Me _is here. It may have taken me 5 months to get it to you -rubs back of neck sheepishly- but it's finally here.

Disclaimer: I do not own JR

Claimer: I do partially own Pen Adachi, Izanami Kurosaki, Danielle Auttumns, and Toru Kimura.

**WARNING**: Yaoi, smut, and OCs

Rated M: For sexual themes, language, and substance abuse

_**Bold/italics: **_Flashbacks

* * *

Chapter Six: How the Game is Played 

"_Toru…please…I'm scared." Pen whimpered falling to his knees at the brunettes feet. _

Toru stood motionless; his world seemingly shattered only hours before, the wrecking ball that had crushed his hopes and dreams was lying there crumpled at his feet. Taking in the sight of the helpless college student, the brunette knelt down and roughly grabbed one of his shoulders. Hazel eyes meeting green, using a single and swift motion of his sculpted arm he hoisted a sobbing Pen over his right shoulder. Setting him down on the plush of one of the loveseats in his living room, Toru slowly walked into the kitchen. Reaching into the back of his fridge, he pulled out a large clear bottle of vodka. Then turning to the cupboard above the countertop, reaching into its wooden depths, he returned like a triumphed war solider with a little blue shot glass between his forefinger and thumb. Trailing back to the living room, Toru plopped down in a seat beside his former love interest. Pouring the shot glass half full with the smelly liquid he pushed it in Pen's direction.

"What is that shit?" Pen sniffled examining the little glass.

"Magic…so don't act all snobbish about it." Toru replied pushing the shot glass into his shaking hands. " Just drink up."

Bringing the little blue glass to his lips, Pen took a swig of the clear concoction. An instant burning sensation running down his esophagus as his eyes filled with tears, he screamed for a chaser to compliment the putrid liquid that claimed to be alcohol. Placing a hand on the boy's back as he sputtered and coughed, Toru reached for the bottle and poured himself a shot as well. Downing the toxins he clenched his eyes shut as the tears burned into his corneas. If anything could take away your pain, it was more pain. Physical pain could drown out the emotional pain. It could leave scars where as the other would only leave the user haunted by a memory. If The two of them were going to go down, this is the way it was going to be…to the bottom of the very bottom in a drunken alcohol splurged rage.

"Magic!" Pen sneered as his face continued to contort in different directions. "That tastes like horse piss!"

"Burns like a bitch doesn't it?" Toru smiled as he took another swig.

"No kidding…" Pen winced holding his throat as he reached over to pour himself another glass. "But…god…it took my mind off everything."

"That's why Everclear was invented." Toru coughed as his eyes leaked with burning moisture. "To make you forget about all the fucked up things in this pointless life."

"You really think life is all that fucked up…?" Pen questioned starring over at the brunette who was now leaning on his knees.

"And you don't?" Toru scowled looking him up and down. "Oh wait, I forget. You're in love with some sophisticated jack off so you're seeing the world through rose colored glasses."

"Usami-sama isn't a jack off." Pen muttered now lifting the entire bottle to his lips.

"Then what should I call him then?" Toru sneered throwing his hand up in a sarcastic gesture. "I honestly don't understand what you see in him."

"Usami-sama is a very kind hearted person." Pen replied placing the vodka back on the coffee table. "And what I did to deserve him is beyond me."

"You should be asking yourself what he did to deserve you." Toru sighed looking into the college boy's eyes. "Pen, for Christ's sake, you're possibly one of the most popular guys out there. Everybody wants you and it's plain to see why. You shouldn't think so lowly of yourself."

"If everybody wants me, then why can't I fucking keep the guy I want to be with?" Pen shouted rising to his feet as the effects of the alcohol start to come into play.

"What are you talking about?" Toru questions narrowing his eyes. "Aren't you still with that bastard?"

"I don't know…" Pen cries slumping back down into the chair; defeat written all over his facial expressions. "I came home after school today and the door was locked."

"So what." Toru shrugs touching his shoulder lightly. "Maybe the guy wasn't home."

"If Usami-sama wasn't home I'd know about it. We are living under the same roof you know." Pen sighs running his fingers through his hair. "Not only that but the key he usually leaves out for me…yeah, it was gone. There was no way I could have gotten in."

"Pen….I don't know what to say to you." Toru murmured swallowing hard.

"I don't know what to do, Toru." Pen replied covering his face with his hands. "I'm so scared."

"Pen…" Toru whispered scooting closer to him. "…you're going to figure this all out…I'm sure of it."

"How! How am I going to figure this all out?" Pen screamed aggravation seemingly radiating off of his skin. "Every time I try and take a step towards something good in my life, there's always a set back!"

Moving closer, in a swift and silent motion, Toru managed to wrap his arms around Pen's grievously shaking form. Pulling the brunette tight to his chest, the elder gently smoothed his downy locks in an attempt to silence the uncontrollable sobs erupting from his core. Rocking back and forth, cradling Pen in his arms like a small child, Toru looked down at him and smiled softly. Taking his forefinger and wiping away a tear traveling down the hazel eyed youth's cheek, Toru sat still for a moment. His heart racing at the speed of light, he opened his mouth to speak again. Words catching along the walls of his reddened airways, he managed to say a single phrase.

"Go to him, Adachi-kun." Toru whispered as he refrained from moving.

"What are you talking about, Toru-chan?" Pen questioned wiping at the biting tears. "I have no where to go to. I'm locked out."

"When the door is locked, create a new path." Toru replied turning to look at the youth.

"I don't get what you're saying…" Pen murmured starring down the brilliant shade of green in his friend's eyes. "You're not making any sense."

"Just because you can't get into his house doesn't mean Usami-sama is gone." Toru answered lightly touching his shoulder. "It's all a matter of searching for him."

"But…But what if he doesn't want to see me anymore?" Pen whimpered sticking out his lower lip in an attempt to hold back an impending sob.

"Whoever wouldn't take you back is a fool." Toru smiled ruffling his hair. "It'd be an awful loss for him…because I know a great deal of people who would just love to get their hands on your heart."

"You mean someone like you…?" Pen uttered holding Toru's big palm against his scalp for another moment.

"That doesn't matter now." Toru sighed resting his hand on the youth's cheek. "How I feel for you and how you feel for me are two completely different things."

"How long…Toru?" Pen questioned feeling the warm skin fade from his cheekbone.

"Like I said before…all that has no meaning now." Toru said almost as of to himself. "I need to step out for a bit."

Raw emotion building up from their core, the two college students took a final glance at each other. It'd be the last time in a long time that things would go so smooth between them. Unrequited love and love rivalry always led to conflict; something neither of the youths were ready to deal with. Reaching for his football jacket hanging up on the hook by the door, Toru reached for the wooden barrier that would set the distance between them. From this point on there would be no turning back.

"Toru-chan!" Pen suddenly cried as his body rose up off the sofa. "Wait!"

"It's okay." Toru whispered as a bitter tear ran down his cheek. "Just be happy with him, okay?"

"But…" Pen whimpered reaching out to the football player who now had his back turned.

"Don't wait to tell him that you love him." Toru smiled somberly wiping at the clear drops of moisture. "Don't you dare wait to tell him you love him. If you do…you're going to lose him."

"It's not fair!" Pen sobbed crashing to his knees against the hardwood flooring in his former roommate's living room.

"Most things in life aren't." Toru shrugged pulling open the front door. "But we learn to accept it."

"All this time though…" Pen chocked looking up from his moistened hands.

"Yeah…since I first met you." Toru nodded setting a foot outside the room. "I still am. I'm still crazy for you after all this time."

"BAKA!" Pen screamed breaking into another fit of sobs. "HOW CAN YOU JUST WALK AWAY!"

"Easy…" Toru sighed hanging his head against his chest. "There are other people in this world who love you just as much as I love you."

"But you'll just walk away…you'll just let me slip right through your fingers…" Pen murmured as a hiccup escaped his throat. "Even though I'm right within your reach…"

"All I want is for you to be happy." Toru swallowed shifting his weight to his left side. "And happy is with Usami-sama, not with me."

"What'll you do…?" Pen whispered voice barely auditable anymore.

"Me? Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and find out." Toru muttered ready to leave. "I have a brother up state who will let me stay with him until I'm strong enough to stand again."

"Toru…please." Pen pleaded looking up from his own crumpled form.

"Don't worry about me so much." Toru whispered giving a small thumbs up. "Just worry about patching things up with Usami-sama."

"Don't…don't go." Pen begged as the door shut slowly behind his childhood friend.

"Hold onto my key for me, will ya? Lock up when you're finished, okay?" Toru replied lengthening the distance between them both with the shutting of the door.

The little brass key falling to the floor, Pen felt as though his heart had slipped away. Not only had he lost the single most important man in his life, but on top of that he had cut down his best friend. The one who had held compassion in his heart all these years was only ignored and eaten away by ignorance. The syndrome of unreciprocated love was a vicious one…in the end someone would always end up getting hurt. Losing to whoever made the first move and who was seemingly the better lover. Toru, he had lost his cards in a ruthless game of Russian Roulette . Akihiko Usami had walked away with a priceless artifact, a genuine article, an irreplaceable gem. While Toru Kimura would lie there with a bullet to the skull and a want that would never be fulfilled.

Walking along the crowded streets, the ebony locked college student made his way to the corner complex where the great novelist was rumored to be quartering. Stepping into the fairly large building, Toru stood outside the tall mahogany door. Little brass room numbers shimmering in the hall light, he gave a small knock. Footsteps sounding off from the very top of the staircase to unlatching the locks of the door, the great Usami-sama stood there wearing only but a silken robe and a scowl. Swallowing hard, Kimura withheld all of his fear and began to speak of the misconception that had gone on between the novelist and his lover.

"So, you're telling me that Pen never cheated on me with you?" Akihiko scowled leaning against the widened doorframe.

"Of course not!" Toru exclaimed before setting his gaze downcast.

"I find that hard to believe. You're an attractive enough guy. You must have all the little boys wrapped around your pinky finger." Akihiko sneered his voice seasoned by feelings of resentment.

"Say what you must, sir. But there was nothing that went on between Adachi-san and I." Toru replied scuffing his shoe against the carpeted hallway. "Adachi-san and I are only friends. Nothing more than that."

"How can I be so sure of that?" Akihiko giving a most heinous stink eye.

"Ask Adachi-san yourself." Toru shrugged starring up into the author's violet orbs. "I can only speak for myself, but not for him."

"J-Just….Just get out of here." Akihiko grumbled slamming the door in Kimura's face. "You're too big of an eyesore for me to handle right now."

"Listen to me, Usami-sama." Toru replied leaning against the door before parting his own way. "You ought to trust your lover. They're the ones who will tell you the truth when you are most in doubt."

Kimura's footsteps trailing away slowly, Akihiko could feel the urge building. What was with that guy? How could he have so much influence on someone he'd just barely met? Opening the door just a crack, the great novelist peered out into the darkened hallway. The college student's form fading in with the mesh background, Akihiko called out softly. Fading footsteps causing a dead silence as Kimura's form stopped its motion, the brunette turned his head slightly; emerald orbs seemingly penetrating through the elder man's hardened core. Opening his mouth to speak, Akihiko opened the door a bit wider beckoning for Kimura to come closer.

"It's against my better judgment to trust you." Akihiko began as he ushered the enemy into his private quarters.

"Then why trust me?" Toru questioned lowering himself onto one of the black leather pieces of interior.

"Maybe it's the resonance in your eyes…" Akihiko sighed sitting beside him breath exhaled out into the hush silence of the room. "You remind me of myself and it's sickening."

"Usami-sama…" Toru swallowed hard taking in the aged violet gaze.

"There really is only so much one can put themselves through before they truly believe it's time to throw in the towel." Akihiko whispered taking out his cell and placing it on his lap. "When I found out or seemingly found out that Pen-chan was fooling around on me, I thought my heart was going to bust open right then and there. My whole world came crashing down all over again, and I'd never wanted a drink so bad in my entire life. Do you have any idea how hard it is to lose someone, even it's only for a moment?"

"Unfortunately…I've been put into the same position. It's a terrible feeling…" Toru answered chuckling softly at the realization that had impended like a hard hand against his softened cheek.

"And when I had gotten that text message. That photo of the two of you together…I thought I was going to explode." Akihiko murmured gripping onto the leather arms of the couch. "I've never killed a man before…but I thought about chopping the two of you up into little pieces…like you had done to me."

"Wait a second! Usami-sama, who did you get that text message from?" Toru exclaimed suddenly snatching up the phone lying still on Akihiko's thigh.

"Hey that's my phone-" Akihiko had began to protest while the younger searched through the elder's inbox.

"Quiet!" Toru hissed opening up a photo file from the inbox. "I think I know who sent this photo to you."

"Wait, are you saying that this is all a big joke? That someone's been fucking with me?" Akihiko questioned watching Toru pull up the picture and message.

"Yeah, this photo was taken before you and Adachi-san ever started seeing each other." Toru replied as a somber smile made its way across his lips. "It was taken by my sister."

"Your sister!" Akihiko growled clenching his fists.

"She's a really big fan of yours…and she must have figured out you were dating Adachi-san. They are in the same literature class, you know. I just never thought Danielle would ever stoop this low."

Body quivering as his core is wracked with the overwhelming feelings of both rage and guilt, Akihiko rose to his feet. Fists still clenched tightly against his thighs, he looked to Toru with hardened violet orbs. Nodding his head slightly, Toru told Akihiko about the conversation with Pen and how he wanted more than anything in the world to be with the great BL novelist. With a quick motion of his hand as if to say "thanks", Akihiko was out the door in a flash. His little red sports car revved up as it squealed against the sidewalk, Toru watched silently through the window as Usami-sama sped out of sight.

Looking up at the towering complex through darkened eyes, Pen held his breath as he approached the abode of the great writer Akihiko Usami for the second time that day. _When the door is locked, create a new path_, just what did Toru mean by that? Gripping onto his forehead to evade the ever growing feelings of doubt, Pen took a step towards the shiny glass doors into the complex. Inching step by step, his heart pumping sickly sweet oxygen to his brain, he finally made it to the elevator. Inching his way into the crowded box, he rode until the claustrophobic deathtrap came to a stop on the top floor. Exiting out of the crate of fear he walked with caution to the mahogany barrier where he had once been welcomed with open arms. Assorted plastic grocery bags, articles of clothing, and torn novels strewed the outside of Akihiko's apartment. Looking down at the mess, Pen could clearly make out his belongings. A sob welling up within his throat, he silently dropped to his knees upon a black trash bag filled with bedding. It was over nothing could change the fact that Akihiko no longer wanted anything to do with hi-

"Pen-chan!" Akihiko's voice belted out from the elevator's doors.

Looking up from the mess of strewed belongings, Pen could make out Usami-sama's form in the distance of the narrow hall. Struggling to get to his feet, Pen watched silently as the writer stalked forward in his direction. Muscular build coming to a complete halt, amethyst orbs set to destroy, the freshman clenched his eyes shut waiting for the blow of a life time. No bluster but instead open arms, Pen stood rigid like a deer in the headlights as Akihiko pulled back collar of his shirt and began kissing down the length of his throat. _How was all this happening? Shouldn't I be considered dead to him? _

"U-Usagi-san, I don't understand…" Pen stammered as velvet kisses continued to cover the length of his throat.

"Gomen. I'm so sorry, Pen." Akihiko whispered his voice wavering all the while. "I never should have doubted you."

"Usami-san, W-what are you t-talking about?" Pen shuddered as the violet eyed seme pulled him to the carpeting.

Without another word to be spoken, Akihiko quickly kidnapped all the doubts and insanities to be spoken with his velvet kiss. Working from rouge lips to the buttoned collar of Pen's shirt, no inch of skin was left without a salivated impression. Climbing on top of the quivering adult, the silver haired aficionado pushed apart Pen's legs with his knee. Climbing in between them, blood pulsating to the tip of his growing erection, Akihiko thrusts his hips forward as his bulge collides with his lovers. A yearn filled moan escaping the brunette's mouth, the seme smiled down at his uke with hungry eyes; it'd seemed like forever and a day since he had last sampled the sweetest tastes of sweat and skin adorned with the seasonings of ripened cum. Grinding against his lover's leg, Pen could feel the hardness of Akihiko's cock even though it was still trapped within his pants; it made a big outline which caused his hazel eyes to desire the well wrapped package even more. Moving his hands to the zipper of his jeans, Akihiko pulled out Pen's bulging erection. Taking it into the soft palms of his hands and he gave it an elongated squeeze sending a shock of pleasure coursing throughout the younger's veins. Steadying his shaft and opening his mouth into a widened oval shape, Akihiko brought his lips down on the bulbous head. Tongue darting across the tiny slit, Pen clenched the bed sheets as his legs began to shake. Entire mouth consuming the erect penis, Akihiko moaned loudly as the girth inside his moist cavern thrusts into the back of his throat. Bobbing his head up and down Pen's throbbing erection, Akihiko moistened the shaft until tremors could be felt from his lover's core. In a swift movement, the novelist is once again straddled his prey with lust filled eyes. Boxers cast before the door as pre-cum slowly dripped off his head, Usami-sama quickly entered up into his victim. Paralyzed with pleasure, Pen moaned loudly upon contact. The soft and hardened thrusts heightening his senses, the freshman in college closed his hazel orbs as ecstasy sent him over the edge. Coming hard and coming fast, it wasn't long before the two collapsed in a heated mess. Cum covering Akihiko's chiseled chest and semen dripping from Pen's loaded entrance, the two starred up into each other's faces. Breath caught in their throats…depleted oxygen seemed long forgotten in the overwhelming feelings of lust.

"Usagi-san…" Pen whispered softly looking up into the set of violet orbs.

"Gomenasai." Akihiko chocked out quickly before tightening his hold on his lover.

"Usagi-san…I don't really understand what's going on." Pen stuttered face crushed against the milk white skin.

"I don't want you to go… I was so angry… I thought I was going to lose you." Akihiko rambled feeling tears bite at his hardened orbs.

"Lose me? Usagi-san, I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore. I thought you wanted me to disappear." Pen murmured against the chiseled chest his voice barely auditable against Akihiko's strangled sobs.

"I could I ever wish for you to disappear…you mean everything to me." Akihiko replied heavy droplets of moisture cascading down his heightened cheekbones.

"But…the door and-" Pen spoke before he was quickly interrupted with a set of quivering lips.

"I love you! I love you so much, damn it!" Akihiko sobbed against Pen's parted appendages. "I love you…I love you…I love you!"

Sitting there in the hall, unclothed and completely oblivious to the rest of the world bustling around them, the two lovers wrapped themselves up in the silent sobs of the echoing complex.

"I really wouldn't have cared, if in the beginning, you had just been using me." Pen whispers softly into the tender lobes. "I would have done anything just to get next to you. To be at your side. I think ever since that first time I saw you…heard your voice…touched your hand…that I've been madly in love with you. Nothing else has mattered to me. I've only wanted to be at your side."

"And now..?" Akihiko murmured against the hollow of the young man's neck.

"My feelings remain unchanged." Pen whimpered as his features are consumed by the overflowing cascade of moisture. "Use me…abuse me…I don't care what you do to me. Just don't push me away from you. I don't want you to have to feel lonely anymore. Let me hold you when you're feeling like the weight of the world is falling on your shoulders. Please… for the love of god…please just let me love you."

"I…I don't know what to say…" Akihiko stuttered gazing up as violet and hazel collided from what seemed to be the millionth time that day.

"…you don't have to say a word…let your body answer for you…" Pen answered clenching his cheeks.


End file.
